I'm also not killing myself. Because even though it looks like an easy way to escape from the pain, and to stop from causing many, many, unnecessary problems and pain to those I love, I know that it won't end the pain for them. It's an unnecessary problem that can never be undone and the effects would last the rest of their lives for them. And because, even though I forget it a lot, I love me too.
The scriptures say that to take a life is an unforgivable sin. And that includes taking your own life. So I wanted to share a few things that help me.
1) Talk about it. With someone you trust. This is the big one. You need to know you aren't alone. When someone takes the time to listen, it's a good reminder that they care and you don't have to stick it out on your own.
2) Confront it. Admit that you are suicidal. It isn't fun or easy, and it's not something to flaunt around, but once you admit that you are you can fight it better. Create a battle plan to conquer it. Remember, you don't have to do it alone.
3) Learn from it. In college I was very depressed and suicidal, and I got through it. I'm not better or stronger than you are, so I know you can too. Now, when I have suicidal thoughts, I remember that I got through it, and even though there were different circumstances and it may not seem like it right now, I can get through it again.
4) Remember the good. Depression makes it all too easy to forget the good. Whenever I am not depressed, or I have a good thought about me or my life, I write it down on a sticky note and put it on my bathroom mirror. When I am having a hard time, I go in and read them.
5) Remember you are capable of good. This one is harder. One thing I do is I draw on my wrist, something beautiful, just as a little reminder that I am capable of creating beautiful things, and to push myself to do the incredible things I am capable of even though I might not want to move.
You are incredible! I know it, and I want you to too! I hope these can help someone the way they do me. It's taken me a long time to learn them.
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